Anyone ever open a sentence with that? My brother did, as he was yelling at me. While he was yelling about the fridge (or global warming or something, I wasn't listening) I got to thinking about what that opener means.
Wait, before I go on let me tell you what he said:
"I don't know about you, but I plan on bringing children into this world."
Ok, moving on...
Now when I heard that I instantly thought "This asshole is saying he's having kids and I'm not, and I'm some how ruining this world for his as of yet non-existent kids". This then got me thinking to what that opener means.
Here's what it means: "You're an asshole, shut up, let me tell you what's what." Think about it, has anyone ever thrown a compliment out after that? NO! They always insult you.
Other common openers that lead to insults:
"I'm not saying ..., but ..."
"No, shut up, listen"
"Raise your hand if..., not so fast"
"*sigh*"
Just a heads up. Who's looking out for you? That's right, Yom is
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
If I have to explain it then it's not funny
Sorry for the delay, but this writing stuff is hard. Hard because coming up with stuff to write about is difficult, and because some of the stuff I think is funny doesn't translate well. You ever tell a joke then had to explain it to someone? You know how those jokes are never funny and you only get pity laughs? Yeah, I'm in the same boat. But at least I'm trying...and failing. But trying is key here.
And another thing, you might have noticed that my pronunciation and enunciation is rather poor in the videos. That's because I've got a retainer jammed into my grill. The plastic removable kind, not the one that everyone else had cemented into their mouth. So I apologize for that, but please don't take my mispronunciation as me using the wrong word. Someone decided to try and correct something I said in today's video. I said DUCT tape, but it sounded like DUCK tape. #1 it used to be called DUCK tape and #2 I know it's called DUCT tape! We'd have subtitles if we could figure out how to do them, but since I hit about 90-ish% of the words we don't need them.
Oh, and as far as the word thing is concerned I'm still all about bringing some words and saying back, but also taking words and applying them differently. Words such as fathoms. It's a unit of measure, but I want to use it as an adjective. Use it to describe someone like "That chick just has fathoms of ass" or "The fathoms of his stupidity are boundless". Just a little food for thought
And another thing, you might have noticed that my pronunciation and enunciation is rather poor in the videos. That's because I've got a retainer jammed into my grill. The plastic removable kind, not the one that everyone else had cemented into their mouth. So I apologize for that, but please don't take my mispronunciation as me using the wrong word. Someone decided to try and correct something I said in today's video. I said DUCT tape, but it sounded like DUCK tape. #1 it used to be called DUCK tape and #2 I know it's called DUCT tape! We'd have subtitles if we could figure out how to do them, but since I hit about 90-ish% of the words we don't need them.
Oh, and as far as the word thing is concerned I'm still all about bringing some words and saying back, but also taking words and applying them differently. Words such as fathoms. It's a unit of measure, but I want to use it as an adjective. Use it to describe someone like "That chick just has fathoms of ass" or "The fathoms of his stupidity are boundless". Just a little food for thought
Monday, April 27, 2009
New video...and a call for help
Mornin folks! SO it's Monday, and that means some of you are back at work and some of you are back in school. But fear not, the new 5 Stat clip is up! Go peep that and have a better day for doing so.
But on to more pressing business. I have noticed that there are some words and phrases that are going unused and are in danger of dying. I would like to take this opportunity to share with you one word and one phrase that we, as a society, must save.
First the word: snazzy. I know it might sound stupid, but let's think of some of the adjectives that we've broken out to describe something as "extremely attractive or stylish; flashy; fancy"... Yeah, to be perfectly honest I'd rather hear people describe the website, my outfit, my photos or whatever as snazzy instead of hot, sick, or bad. We need to bring this one back. We're running out of adjectives!
Now the phrase: I said good day! In the 19th century (1800's. I only do this cause I know someone is gonna get confused) that was an ender insult. You'd be arguing with someone and then when you wanted to end it you'd pop in your monocle and say good day and walk away. When the person tried to stop you you'd turn around, snap your cape and say louder "I said good day!" There was no comeback! I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm making it my mission to bring this puppy back. To hell with you who think I'm an idiot! Good Day! I said good day!
But on to more pressing business. I have noticed that there are some words and phrases that are going unused and are in danger of dying. I would like to take this opportunity to share with you one word and one phrase that we, as a society, must save.
First the word: snazzy. I know it might sound stupid, but let's think of some of the adjectives that we've broken out to describe something as "extremely attractive or stylish; flashy; fancy"... Yeah, to be perfectly honest I'd rather hear people describe the website, my outfit, my photos or whatever as snazzy instead of hot, sick, or bad. We need to bring this one back. We're running out of adjectives!
Now the phrase: I said good day! In the 19th century (1800's. I only do this cause I know someone is gonna get confused) that was an ender insult. You'd be arguing with someone and then when you wanted to end it you'd pop in your monocle and say good day and walk away. When the person tried to stop you you'd turn around, snap your cape and say louder "I said good day!" There was no comeback! I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm making it my mission to bring this puppy back. To hell with you who think I'm an idiot! Good Day! I said good day!
Monday, April 20, 2009
New video and new features
Time again for another Weekly YouTube exclusive 5 stats. That delightful endeavor can be found here. Make sure to stick around at the end for more from me. Also added a new section to the site where you become part of the stats! How is this possible?!? Through the miracle of website polls. It can be found here.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Yom on YouTube!
I have now finally had my video guy upload my first 5 exclusive YouTube stats! Woo hoo, I'm famous! Well, not yet, but the power is in your hands.
Linky
Linky
By the way, that little quip at the end is referring to TFAM's "office".
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Had some car trouble...
So last Saturday night my car had some "issues" if you will. A plug on the radiator blew out and sent most of my coolant the hole it was plugging. And all this happened while I was at work...on a delivery...to Suncrest...which is a housing development on top of a mountain. I, unfortunately, had to leave my precious car on top of said mountain and return the next day to patch it up and limp it down the mountain. Thankfully Trent, TFAM whatever, picked me up from work the night before and agreed to help me fix the car the next day.
He had ulterior motives though. He needed content for the site, and so my tragedy became his opportunity. Here's what came of it!
Here's the radiator with a 7/16" x 14 bolt plugging the hole:
Here's the note I left so no one would ticket/boot/tow my car...although if they towed my car I wouldn't have complained:
And here's the actual note:
The car is alive and well now, knock on wood. And hopefully it'll survive long enough for this to take off so I can make a ton of money and replace it with something awesome...like an STi or an Evo
He had ulterior motives though. He needed content for the site, and so my tragedy became his opportunity. Here's what came of it!
Here's the radiator with a 7/16" x 14 bolt plugging the hole:
Here's the note I left so no one would ticket/boot/tow my car...although if they towed my car I wouldn't have complained:
And here's the actual note:
The car is alive and well now, knock on wood. And hopefully it'll survive long enough for this to take off so I can make a ton of money and replace it with something awesome...like an STi or an Evo
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
the twitter
Ok, so I've been devoting a lot of time to my solo photo show but I've also been killing way too much time on the YRS Twitter. Why? Let me count the ways!
#1 It's a hell of a time killer. YRS is following 51 people, including pretty much the entire cast of Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory, John Mayer and Diddy. Mayer is on there all the time! Plowing through all 51 people's updates takes time, and most of the time they are hilarious and/or informative.
#2 You may or may not learn something. People throw up random links all the time. I put up a link to ShamWow guy's police report on my personal twitter (twitter.com/mchandphoto) There's the old saying "You learn something new everyday", spend half an hour on twitter when you're following a ton of people. You'll find something.
#3 You might meet someone new. Seriously. I'm talking to someone in Where The Wild Things Are. He wants to build a time machine so he can jump us all to the premier date so he can stop stressing. He shoots me a message about once a day. It's rad!
So basically twitter rules, and if you want to get at me follow me on twitter and get at me there. Follow me and I'll follow you
#1 It's a hell of a time killer. YRS is following 51 people, including pretty much the entire cast of Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory, John Mayer and Diddy. Mayer is on there all the time! Plowing through all 51 people's updates takes time, and most of the time they are hilarious and/or informative.
#2 You may or may not learn something. People throw up random links all the time. I put up a link to ShamWow guy's police report on my personal twitter (twitter.com/mchandphoto) There's the old saying "You learn something new everyday", spend half an hour on twitter when you're following a ton of people. You'll find something.
#3 You might meet someone new. Seriously. I'm talking to someone in Where The Wild Things Are. He wants to build a time machine so he can jump us all to the premier date so he can stop stressing. He shoots me a message about once a day. It's rad!
So basically twitter rules, and if you want to get at me follow me on twitter and get at me there. Follow me and I'll follow you
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)