The future

Yom's Random Stats will remain in it's current state for awhile, un-updated while we focus on the latest project. The latest project being a spin-off of Yom's Random Stats entitled, Yom Apologizes! You'll get your helping of Yom giving out apology videos without numbers flying at you all the time. Check it out here.

Announcement soon

You may have noticed a lack of activity round these parts. There's good reason...a reason I care not to go into. However, an announcement will soon be made about the future of Yom's Random Stats!

Mr. Yom, how do these wonderful videos get made and put on my compu-box?

That's a good question you asked there Timmy. Allow me to tell you how this whole thing works.

First Trent (I'm not calling him TFAM in this thing anymore, it's too ridiculous) sends me a text and asks if I'm available to film something. I usually am, but every once in a while I'm not. I reply to his text and, more often than not, head over.

Step 2, we find stats or pick an argument. Easier said than done. Last night it took us about 3 minutes to find the stats for the video, but I had been over there for 45 or something like that. The arguments for WYRD are a little easier, only because Trent is willing to argue anything.

Step 3: Set up the equipment. Find the tripod, drag out the $20 work lights (Big Lots kicks ass fyi), pop the camera on the pod, turn on the mike, set the white balance and hit record. Easiest part of the whole production.

Step 4: Argue/rifle off 5 stats. Tricky only because the arguments are done on the spot with little or no (mostly no) preparation, and I can barely read my own hand writing. But it usually goes off without a hitch, except the one time we had the epic tech fail. That is still a mystery we can't figure out.

Step 5: Edit the whole mess. Now Trent is doing all the editing right now on his 24" iMac (if you're editing anything this is as small as you want to go, trust me) with iMovie '09 despite having a copy of Final Cut Express. Why isn't he using FCE? Cause he doesn't know how to use it. This is where this thing comes in:



This is a 17" Apple eMac. It's been upgraded so it can run Leopard, and henceforth FCE. Trent got it for me so I can learn Final Cut and then show him how to use it. It works out for everyone: I get a dedicated video editing rig, and he gets to learn Final Cut without having to fail at every turn. He also got me this:



I have cracked it open, and Lord knows I'll be running to it whenever I need help.

Now this thing will get used for something you WILL see. We're working on a new project that I'm gonna film and edit myself. It's gonna be epic, and filmed on the epic handle cam!



It...It's the one on the right. It'll record, but the firewire port is dead. The one on the left won't record, but it'll play back and the firwire port is still live.

And since we're going this far, here's what my editing station looks like. Stare in awe and be jealous of that which you cannot have!



Yeah, yeah I know. I'll clean it up later, right now I got things to edit

I'm sorry?

So last night, before the fail, TFAM (can we start using real names? I feel like an idiot calling one of my best friends TFAM) and Asti (again, idiot feeling) pointed out that I was quite insensitive about Billy Mays' death. Allow me to address this right now:

I don't care.

Michael Jackson is a legend, Farah Fawcett was an icon, Billy Mays was a dude who yelled at people to buy cheap things on infomercials. He was a legend in his own right, but not transcending races and generations like MJ. Does it suck that Billy is dead? Yes. Is there a generation of people who are gonna remember him dying more than MJ? Unfortunately yes, and that's pretty sad in my opinion. MJ and Farah were icons, Billy Mays just hocked shoddy wares on TV. There's a difference, a big one.


Now that that's out of the way TFAM (*shudder*) sent me this pic and told me it could be a possible blog post:



What do you think? Best caption wins something... I've got some old skateboards kicking around, so I'll hook you up with one of those. And a shout out in the next video. Deal?

The more you leer the better it looks

Sorry it's been...what? 2 weeks? This writing thing is hard and being me is tricky, even more so lately. But I won't bore you with those details. Instead I'll bore you with something I came up with on the way home from Starbucks about an hour ago!

I was in the slow lane on the freeway, just minding my own business, when a Land Rover Range Rover Sport (Yes, that's the whole name. Land Rover is the manufacturer and Range Rover Sport is the model) pulls up next to me. Now I've seen hundreds of them, but for some reason this one stood out. I, coincidentally I swear, followed it almost the whole way home. And I was struck by it. It was gorgeous.

This encounter got me to thinking, what other cars that I see on an almost daily basis have grown from mundane to striking? Well here's a list, in no particular order:

#1 BMW 3 series, specifically the E46 chassis



The E90's (the new ones) are cool...somewhat and the E36's (91-00) are cool too, but I think the E46 chassis is the best looking. And the E46 M3 was the first since the E30 chassis M3 to be offered only as a coupe, the way it should be.


#2

Land Rover Range Rover Sport



Like I just said, I followed one home and I eye humped the thing the entire way.


#3

04-05 Subaru WRX Wagon



Some guy in my neighborhood has a red one, dumped on Rotas (We'll have that discussion later), and Stage 2'd out. It's nice. I want it with an STi motor and transmission and real wheels. I have a hierarchy for WRX looks, it goes like this:

04-05
02-03
06-07
08-09

But the first three are leaps and bounds better looking than the last (current) design. I only like the new STI, and that's it. Every other one I'd take in either sedan or wagon and in any color so long as it's packin a manual gear box and I can modify it how ever the hell I want.


#4

Infiniti G35 coupe



I go to the grocery store and I see at least 3 G35's, be them sedans or coupes. I was over them for a while, but now I'm into them again. I want one, with the Brembo's and the Top Secret kit. But not the wide body, just the normal one. It'll be sick...if I ever get it


And that's the list. Yeah I know only 4 cars, but in all honesty that's all I've got. Sorry if you were expecting more, but really those are the only 4 vehicles that I went from almost ignoring to plotting scheming on how to own one.

I don't know about you...

Anyone ever open a sentence with that? My brother did, as he was yelling at me. While he was yelling about the fridge (or global warming or something, I wasn't listening) I got to thinking about what that opener means.

Wait, before I go on let me tell you what he said:

"I don't know about you, but I plan on bringing children into this world."

Ok, moving on...

Now when I heard that I instantly thought "This asshole is saying he's having kids and I'm not, and I'm some how ruining this world for his as of yet non-existent kids". This then got me thinking to what that opener means.

Here's what it means: "You're an asshole, shut up, let me tell you what's what." Think about it, has anyone ever thrown a compliment out after that? NO! They always insult you.

Other common openers that lead to insults:

"I'm not saying ..., but ..."
"No, shut up, listen"
"Raise your hand if..., not so fast"
"*sigh*"

Just a heads up. Who's looking out for you? That's right, Yom is

If I have to explain it then it's not funny

Sorry for the delay, but this writing stuff is hard. Hard because coming up with stuff to write about is difficult, and because some of the stuff I think is funny doesn't translate well. You ever tell a joke then had to explain it to someone? You know how those jokes are never funny and you only get pity laughs? Yeah, I'm in the same boat. But at least I'm trying...and failing. But trying is key here.

And another thing, you might have noticed that my pronunciation and enunciation is rather poor in the videos. That's because I've got a retainer jammed into my grill. The plastic removable kind, not the one that everyone else had cemented into their mouth. So I apologize for that, but please don't take my mispronunciation as me using the wrong word. Someone decided to try and correct something I said in today's video. I said DUCT tape, but it sounded like DUCK tape. #1 it used to be called DUCK tape and #2 I know it's called DUCT tape! We'd have subtitles if we could figure out how to do them, but since I hit about 90-ish% of the words we don't need them.

Oh, and as far as the word thing is concerned I'm still all about bringing some words and saying back, but also taking words and applying them differently. Words such as fathoms. It's a unit of measure, but I want to use it as an adjective. Use it to describe someone like "That chick just has fathoms of ass" or "The fathoms of his stupidity are boundless". Just a little food for thought